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CAN A BELIEVER MARRY AN UNBELIEVER?
Marriage is a yoke. The Bible forbids unequal yoke
(2 Cor 6: 14).
“You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together”
(Dt 22:10).
Both the Old and the New Testaments strongly condemn intermarriage
with unbelievers. Here, I would like to stress that the word “unbeliever”
means not only those from a non-christian background but also a nominal Christian.
Yes, a married life even with a nominal Christian, would be a case of chariot horses running
in different directions, for spiritual priorities would vary greatly! Intermarriage the “ holy seed”
with the unconverted is called as “trespass, transgression, iniquity and guilt”
(Ezra 9:1-6).
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Even a widow who is a believer is not permitted to marry an unbeliever. “She is at liberty to be
married to whom she wishes, ONLY in the Lord”
(1 Cor 7:39).
Even if your parents press to marry an unbeliever, for whatever reason,
you can firmly refuse. Obedience to parents also must be “ in the Lord”
(Eph 6:1).
If you have fallen in love with an unbeliever, break the affair unless your fiancé
or fiancée gets genuinely converted. Beware of baptisms for marriage.
True in some cases the unbelieving spouse gets converted after marriage.
But no truth can be established from this. The Bible challenges, “How do you know,
O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband whether you will
save your wife?
(1 Cor 7:16). Marriage is too serious a matter to take risk. Remember King Solomon, the
man who had the glorious privilege of constructing God’s temple? Even, he was not immune from being
led astray by his unbelieving wives into despicable idol-worship. If you have already made the mistake
of marrying an unbeliever, you can now do nothing but persist in prayer and try lovingly to lead your
spouse into a living relationship with the Lord. Similarly, if you were already married to an unbelieving
spouse before ‘accepting the Lord’, please do not rush for a divorce now
(I Cor 7:12-14) but by your prayerful,
loving conduct, lead your unbelieving life mate to the Lord. Note, evangelism, like charity should begin at home.
When young people from non-Christian background embrace the gospel, they find it extremely difficult to find
suitable believing partners. It is a shame to observe Casteism raising its ugly head even inside the Indian
churches. Christian leaders and pastors must voluntarily take sincere efforts to settle marriages for the
non-Christian converts. Believing young people from Christian families should come forward to marry non-Christians
converts. Why not? Sometimes the families of these converts may throw them out of their community.
The church should support such with all sensitivity.
All said and done, a marriage can make or break one’s spiritual life, so in the event of any
proposal coming your way or an inner prompting to marry someone, it pays to exercise due care while
choosing your life partner in order your marriage is in perfect conformity with our Lord’s will.
In the event of any doubt, sincerely pray to the Lord seeking His will, even while concurrently
exploring His Word for the answer. From His Word, in this essay many of His instructions already
have been encapsulated, though it must be admitted that sometimes, in answer to your prayers,
the Lord may also use wise Christians to give you perfect oral advice on this matter
(Exodus 18:13-25).
(Suresh Manoharan)
ps....... inputs for this essay taken from the writtings of an eminent christian writer Bro. R.Stanley
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The list of essays to follow
- Christians and Harry Potter
- Is it wrong to visit graves?
- Is Childlessness a curse?
- The ways of protest
- "Can women preach?"
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